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Catskinner

Laughing thread's distant cousin.

Hahahahaha!

Ya dancer!
Rid Sonja

Mystified.... confused2
Onny

See wance the pillow talk goes ................ Smilie_PDT
Onny

I've just noticed what Catskinner is referring to.

Fuckin' brilliant. The brain-dead leading the clinically insane.
Rid Sonja

Not sure if ah'm looking at the same thing, but ah've seen the inability tae distinguish something that's made through choice and something that's biological..

Are we oan the same page here?
Creeping Jesus

Haw haw haw!
Onny

Ye couldnae make it up.

Altogether now.

If I should stay
Well, I would only be in your way
And so I'll go, and yet I know
That I'll think of you each step of my way

Perra diddies (Dolly Parton reference there, eh).
alphabetty

The same old codswallop they were gumming 10 years ago. At least they are Green. They have learned how to recycle shite.
Ox ya Moron

Sumbdy gonnae PM me a link? Ah cuild aye dae wi a wee chuckle.
Ox ya Moron

Och, deary deary.
Polwarth

OK, so that's me the ony wan that disnae huv a clue, then?
Onny

All is revealed.

"And once I tried to keep up with male company on the Furstenberg at the Chip. That way lies ruin, I tell you."
Ox ya Moron

Polwarth wrote:
OK, so that's me the ony wan that disnae huv a clue, then?


Dinnae fash yersel, Pol. It's jist thi sad gum grindins ae thi trollin commyoonity.
Polwarth

Och, if it's suhhin on thon faux-refainit Weegie site?  Ahm no bothered aboot knowin whit it's aboot.

Ah mean - we REAL refainit wifies can spot a kiddy-oan refainit person at a hunnert yards!
Ox ya Moron

Aye, Pol. It's jist a faw'in oot among summae thaim as wance thocht thumsels better'n they ouchtae be.
fairisle

No meanin tae be a nosey  neighbur ur nuthin, but it aw soonds like a stooshie in a teacup, onnyway a'll keep  ma neb oot ae it.

Mibbies they drapped thur wallies in thur teacup .  
Creeping Jesus

Jist indulge us Fairy.

Thirs people on the internet that provide some o us us wi cheap laughs an schadenfreude cozza thir upthirselfness an general choobery.

A lotta us on here huv been sniggerin childishly at these folk for a number o years, but thir capacity tae entertain never seems tae wane.

If yer curious an ye've hunners a' time fire me a PM an Ah'll fill ye in wi a potted history o the nomadic followers o the wan legget lebanese squillionairess.

Eventually.
Creeping Jesus

HAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!
Onny

I can't be the only person taking cognisance of the fact that its getting better and better.
Onny

Yet worse and worse.
alphabetty

I agree Onny.It is magnificently funny and yet slightly worrying too! cheers
fairisle

Whit's funny and worrying?  

I guess  I'll jist hive tae remain  mystified.

cyclops_ani
fairisle

Nomadic followers o the wan legget lebanese squillionairess.

It struck me that this soonds like a great title furra novel.
Polwarth

A title furra novel?

Listen you tae me....  the stories aboot the Lebanese Squillionaire are awmaist unbelievable.

Her servants, Igor and that puir lassie, Annie, that cleaned the ashes ootae the rooms o Fittie's castle?  Awmaist beyond belief.

Her portraits?  The wan o hur, as a wan-leggit wumman, luiking remarkably like Margaret T (we're no really meant tae mention hur) - and her banning of mentioning LZ...?

The wumman wiz a legend in her ain lunch hour.
Onny

Or a leg without an end.
East Coaster

I'm afraid that I don't have a clue what this thread's about. It might as well be in Scottish Gaelic.

A "need to know basis", perhaps?
confused1
Polwarth

Dinnae fash yersel, EastCoaster - ahm no in the loop either, and sometimes...  that's best!
Ox ya Moron

Wance apon a time thur wis a nice, freendly bunch ae like mindit an hermliss eejits thit freqwentit an interweb fowrum. Thi host an benefactur wis a wan leggit, Lebanese squillionairess. Cosae thi guid nachured banter thit wis commin atween 'em, thit fowrum attractit thi attenshin ae manny urrers.

As time passed, hevver, it became apparint thit summae thi noovoux membership wur nuhhin mair'n trolls an a fawin oot occured wi some facshins driftin aff, huvvin spit thur dummies, tae settle in (an set up) thur ain wee bridges tae sit under.

Sadly, thi uriginal fowrum didnae survive thi crash (Ah'murnae shure whit crash) an wur pal Catskinner set up this place as a wee bolt hole until sich a time as thi Lebanese wan micht get her arse in gear and sort hings oot.

This threid is nuhhin mair'n a wee pointer, tae thaim as ur intristit, thit hings urnae runnin smooth in thi wurrld ae thaim as decidit tae (ur wis telt tae) go tae fuck.

It wull hawd little ae intrist fer annywan else, so dinnae fash yersels. Ye cuild say it's a private joke but that wuild siggest a degree ae exclusifniss thit isnae intendit.
Polwarth

Not 'exclusif' you say, Oxy?

Mai ai remaind you thet ANYWHERE ai em is, bai virtue of mai presence, exclusif!  blackeye

Ai fully agree though thet we ur inclusive here, but!!!!
Ox ya Moron

Aw Pol, ye know richt weel thit yer wur ain cadeau de prestige an yer presence is a gift.
Shuggy Vara

Ther's time whin ah hink thit, evin if ah did unnerstaun, ah widnae gie a scooby.
Polwarth

Yer a man o rerr sense, Shugs!  cheers
Ox ya Moron

Aye, thur's wisdum in yer wurds...

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity..."
Shuggy Vara

Naw, Oxy, yon wisny me. Ah hink it wiz anither beardie awthigithur.
Ox ya Moron

Wis it no yersel? Ah jist ashoomed ye wur parafraisin...
alphabetty

Hahahahaha! C'est magnifique!
Creeping Jesus

I agree. Utterly splendid!
Polwarth

Ah miss thon wan-leggity wan's website...  the wit, the cruelty to eejits, the banter....! cheers
weejan

^^^like^^^like^^ like^^

might start a campaign for a 'like' button here. Wots me chances?
Creeping Jesus

WE could aw try emailin Fittie again. It wis January when we got the promise the place wis gonny get repaired an a boay hud been appointed tae dae the work.
Creeping Jesus

Meanwhile back at the ranch...
Polwarth

Dinnae ken whit happened - ah postit a reply, CJ an it jist disappeared...


As ah wis sayin

Ah've emailed Greg at least 3 times.  Nae personal replies.  But see thon boy?  He needs the back o his legs skelped, that's fur sure!
Onny

Polwarth wrote:
Dinnae ken whit happened - ah postit a reply, CJ an it jist disappeared...


As ah wis sayin

Ah've emailed Greg at least 3 times.  Nae personal replies.  But see thon boy?  He needs the back o his legs skelped, that's fur sure!


Leg.
Creeping Jesus

cyclops
Rid Sonja

Ah've hid the best start tae a moarnin ah've hid fur ages!!

Wan ae the dislustrious (hehe.. ah know, but still, it fits so well) o'er in that cesspit quoted Conservapedia as a source tae back up thur illogical, uncritical and evidence free assertions fur thur homophobia; then thurs the daft antipodean (who's unable understand that the word 'global' in the terms 'global warming' ur 'global climate change' means thit folk ur talkin aboot the hale world n no just Australia)is tryin tae just get evrybody tae  stoap writin cos thur makin such arses ae thumsells his just started quotin Latin tae try and make hissel even less understood thin he has ever been; then, the numpty who aiways sed thit he sees nuthin wrang wi laffin at evrythin is upset coz he's stoapt laffin at sumthin n naebdy's takin him seriously and lastly - and most deliciously - the psychotic, overbearin, unmarried, fascisitic non-mother (who, if we wur livin in her imagined halcyon days of 1960s Scotland wid be viewed as nuthin mair thin a slatternly auld haddie by urrer fine, upstandin married folk) is daein hur best defendin the indefensible and makin hursel look like an inflated loony balloon.

Rerr stuff!!  Ye couldny make this up in a Harry Potter book!  In fact, ah think thit Douglas Adams wid hiv trouble comin up wi such a plot!
alphabetty

Hey you, stop ruining the plot! 'Westenders' is one of my favourite cyber-soaps. It has every tv trope known to televisual writing. To paraphrase;You could make it up! Sometimes I wonder what it must be like to actually share real-time with these people, do they sit and spout their drivel at work, for example? I wonder do their co-workers dream of sellotaping their vacuous, flapping gobs shut. Perhaps their colleagues fantasize that one day a hardened custard cream might cause jaw strain or an industrial strength toffee hobnonb glue their teeth together for a few hours.
Rid Sonja

Ah don't think he yiv tae worry too much, Alfa... Ah wid be surprised if thur workmates gied any ae thum any mair thin the absolute minimum of attention in the workplace, and outwith it, none attawattaw.  That's why thur deranged ravings ur unleashed in written form coz naebdy can shut them up afore they make utter unadulterated bletheration among thumsels and coincidently gie us such laff oot loud gems of bellum while thur at it.  

We should be grateful... we UR grateful!! blob1
Onny

Jist when you think it couldn't get onny worse (better!) it jist does.
alphabetty

Please make them stop!
Rid Sonja

That's impossible... they've just had a member return to the fold, - and what gems he's provided in his first 2 or 3 posts!  The sheer number of logic-free minds over there is impressive, dontcha think?  What can we do to advertise to other looonies that there is a place for them?  It reminds me of JK' s song about the different sorts who make up humanity, and who, after all, is really that 'normal'. Well, I know who is not 'normal' over there...

Maybe his pal Oxy could provide the lyrics for us..  bom
Ox ya Moron

Ah'm urnae shure thit ma Pal JK wuild want his wee song tae be assoshietit wi thon eejits, but he said Ah kin gie yese thi wurds...

The Gathering

Let’s gather all the people
Who never quite fit in
The ones who really are too fat
Yes, and those who are too thin
All the ones who have bits missing
Those who cannot see or hear
The hard of understanding
And while we’re at it, let’s not forget the queer

This gathering should, of course, take in
The ugly and uncouth
And it might as well embrace the old
And we ca balance that with youth
What’s your view on colour?
Should dark tones go in as well?
Defining white can’t be that hard
And while we’re at it, let’s not forget the folk who smell

I know the list is growing
But we should include the poor
They’re always getting in the way
And poverty’s a bore
I suppose obscenely rich folk
Should be added to the list
Then there’s junkies, speed freaks, pot heads
And while we’re at it, let’s not forget the pissed

There have been some suggestions
For others who should go
Muslims, Hindus, Christians, Jews
Well, any kind of holy Joe
There’s a plain criteria
To help us make our pick
It’s all those who would convert us
And while we’re at it, let’s not forget the sick

Other nominations
I’m afraid were just bizarre
Removing cyclists wearing lycra
Might be taking things too far
To gather each minority
Would cause a massive fuss
If we need a big solution
While we’re at it, let’s just gather all of us
alphabetty

Ox ya Moron wrote:
Ah'm urnae shure thit ma Pal JK wuild want his wee song tae be assoshietit wi thon eejits, but he said Ah kin gie yese thi wurds...

The Gathering

Let’s gather all the people
Who never quite fit in
The ones who really are too fat
Yes, and those who are too thin
All the ones who have bits missing
Those who cannot see or hear
The hard of understanding
And while we’re at it, let’s not forget the queer

This gathering should, of course, take in
The ugly and uncouth
And it might as well embrace the old
And we ca balance that with youth
What’s your view on colour?
Should dark tones go in as well?
Defining white can’t be that hard
And while we’re at it, let’s not forget the folk who smell

I know the list is growing
But we should include the poor
They’re always getting in the way
And poverty’s a bore
I suppose obscenely rich folk
Should be added to the list
Then there’s junkies, speed freaks, pot heads
And while we’re at it, let’s not forget the pissed

There have been some suggestions
For others who should go
Muslims, Hindus, Christians, Jews
Well, any kind of holy Joe
There’s a plain criteria
To help us make our pick
It’s all those who would convert us
And while we’re at it, let’s not forget the sick

Other nominations
I’m afraid were just bizarre
Removing cyclists wearing lycra
Might be taking things too far
To gather each minority
Would cause a massive fuss
If we need a big solution
While we’re at it, let’s just gather all of us



cheers  cheers  cheers  cheers  cheers
Polwarth

Oxy
Your pal, JK, has a wonderful wey wi wurds. cheers
Rid Sonja

Aye, thon's an excellent example of quantifying and qualifying humanity, right enuff.  And that lot are the very folk that the song addresses... by the time thit they've thrown evrybody they think is less thin human intae the pot, they'll discover thit, somewhere along the line, they're also due fur disposal intae sum bin thumsells. In sayin that, where they're concerned....  

Reminds me ae a play where the protagonists are standing in rubbish bins...Can't remember the playwright or even the name of the play though... anyone??
Onny

Endgame. Samuel Beckett.
Rid Sonja

That's it!!  I knew it was a Modernist playwright but the name escaped me.  The symbolism of the play though...
alphabetty

I think Beckett might be a little too advanced for them, particularly when one considers that they are currently engaged in completely fucking up a poem that most youngsters tackle at 'O' level.
Ox ya Moron

But isitno thi point ae troll central? Tae fuck up ayething?
Ox ya Moron

Ah jist went ower by an hud a wee read. Thon fella thit hinks he's Dug is a richt unplesint yin eh, no?
Onny

Ah've jist peyed a visit. Whit a buncha bams.
Onny

Popped back for a jiffy. Why don't they just admit they hate each other?
Rid Sonja

That would suck all the death out of them. Instead they're like vampires feeding off each other.  It's a form of living but one not worth living for most folk.
Onny

I know I ought not to take such delight in watching them rip each other apart with infantile comments, it is extraordinarily good fun.
alphabetty

It's basically a platform to talk about themselves, reading it you get the distinct impression that sometimes they are literally just talking to themselves. They chunter on using strategically placed information that is basically a series of non sequiturs. it is very, very funny. I always love the different ways that information that they think makes them look good is slipped into a thread. " Let's talk about the homeless... and that reminds me of the time I was driving my(insert brand of car here) on my way to meet (insert z list celebrity here), I had just come back from (insert holiday destination here)..." Hilarious, it is actually better than the tv at the moment. cheers
Onny

The Poisoned Dwarf's just about as corpulent cousin, Fat Pat (aka the drink flinger), is having just as much difficulty herding her sheep.

Anyone might think there's a mischief maker in their midst.
Onny

They seem to have lost what had previously passed for their sense of humour.
Creeping Jesus

Onny

If you squint at that pic you can just make out the fireplace in The Chip.
Creeping Jesus

hahaha!
Rid Sonja

And the Big Balloon goes oan wi hur spammin n lies, thinkin thit she knows the whole ae sumthin when she's nae idea who she's speakin tae in the real world.  Sooooooooooooo funny!!!!!   bom  bom
Onny

Delued and delusional.

Still of the belief that putting something in bold automatically makes it true.
Creeping Jesus

WELL BLOCK CAPS IS SHOUTY!
alphabetty

Typography issit? I think everything written by yon ejit would suit typefaces such as: Oleaginous Extended. Cringeworthy Condensed and BUNNYBOILER BOLD. albino
Onny

All we need now is for one of them to join Senga's sanpit and it really will be a case of the dead leading the dying
alphabetty

Onny wrote:
All we need now is for one of them to join Senga's sanpit and it really will be a case of the dead leading the dying


Hmm, not sure if I understand that Onny. However,I'm sure there are a few souls who are intelligent enough to realize that one of their members only turns up when the word 'onny' is embedded in a post. Some 19 months elapses between visits but type the magic word onny and Kazam!the erstwhile non-poster miraculously appears in your forum. This suggest to me that the word 'onny' is being put into search engines and once it is found the forum containing it is immediately visited for further ad nauseam comment.

Ahem, speaking of attachments, healthy or otherwise;surely you two have some kind of 10 year anniversary coming up? flower


p.s. Oh look out fun and games for all on the horizon, the rambling Rambo impersonator is threatening to spread a little far rightiousness around.  cheers  cheers  cheers
East Coaster

I take it that you've all noticed our "Newest Registered member" then?

thin
alphabetty

Loving that wee blue devil eastcoaster!
Onny

East Coaster wrote:
I take it that you've all noticed our "Newest Registered member" then?

thin


Almost certainly a blaw-in fae somewhere. Here for 5 minutes then claim Glaswegian nationality and squatter's rights whilst some of us were being carried around the West End Perk before we were born.
Ox ya Moron

Erss thon feelin thit wur bein watched agin.

Ah huvtae stoap hinkn thit annywan thit cries thursel westtender is gonnae be thon shrivelt wee troll. It cuild jist be a co-inkydink.
Onny

I believe the Tourist Trophy version was an early reincarnation of the shrivelt wee troll on the drink flinging Fat Pat's miserable excuse for a discussion group.
Rid Sonja

Oxy, who, in thur right mind wid want tae associate thumsells wi that ignoramus ae a balloon, never mind pretend that thur hur?  Nah!  Only that numpty hursel wid be such a narcissist as tae think anybody here wid have any interest in any ae hur deluded ramblins ur wid want tae sully thumsells by actually engagin wi hur in becomin an enabler tae hur an hur mental state.  

It's amazin thit she disny unnerstaun thit hur role is merely tae be the occasional entertainment fur they times when 'Jeremy Kyle' is being too intellectual a show; but that's how it stands in reality.  Only a deluded egotist like hur widny see that.  Puir wee silly churl thit she is.
alphabetty

I think someone mentioned the irony of the ballooney associating with wheelchair users.

The irony is indeed delicious. When posing as a true denizen of the West End or a  dyed in the wool Govanite (depending on which stance suits her best at the time) I believe the newly unearthed west coast tuber doesn't tolerate people who openly discuss: the death of loved ones, anything to do with chronic or acute illnesses, be they one's own or others. She also seems to fill with venom every time a wheelchair user dares to make an appearance at a public function. And woe betide them if they happen to be disabled as well. In that case there will be very few people to her taste in her new residence in her new role as an "ever so 'umble" vegetable. Still, one thing I would say is her new choice of sobriquet is serendipitous. Both the person and the nickname instantly conjure up an association with chips.
Rid Sonja

Quote:
Both the person and the nickname just always seem to bring the thought of chips to mind.


How true... the humble tattie chip!  Aiways a source of conversation - especially when the poke ae chips is of inferior quality: such a thing is often whit leads tae the demise ae the chippie itsell over time.
Onny

Damn. I was doing OK but I didn't get some of the references so I took a peek. Now I feel soiled.

I'd planned an early night but I forsee hot baths and carbolic soap.
alphabetty

Arf, arf! It is spectacularly good at the moment!
Onny

Yep. 'The Seb Coe said' is especially humiliating for all concerned.
Onny

I note censorship has, yet again - and on an international basis, raised its ugly head.

Some folks don't remember how they behaved in their early teens and refuse to believe their issue might possibly behave in the same way.

Burying your head in the sand in this manner simply results in your being used as a bicycle park, as opposed to being used as a local bike.
Onny

It's jist gettin' better n better (or worse n worse) depending on yer viewpoint!!!!!!
Onny

Akshully, Fat Pat's is nae better. Talk aboot floggin' a deid cuddy(?)

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