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Shuggy Vara

Oops

Me an thi Varaette went tae a art exybishin fur tae glow wi pride it summae La Senora's w*rk oan display. Wannae mah colleagews wiz ther an she donnurt uptae us an sed 'Hullo ther, an is this yir wife?". Ah wiz a wee bitty ambivylint as, oan ra wan haun, she thot ah kid pull a 25 year auld, oan thi ither thit thi best ah kid day wiz wan wi bright blue herr an loadsae body ert.
Thi Varaette wiz much merr upsettur thit shi wiz thot tae be able tae muster no bettur thin a baldy auld bloke. Whin we telt aforemenshint colleagew thit we wur faithur and wean,  well . . .  it wiz a grand shade uv red she went.
Celyn

Heheheh.           bounce      I love those socially embarrassing moments (well, when it's not me who's the one doing the embarrassing thing).  
Might have been more fun if it has gone thusly:

Colleague "hello, Shuggy, good to see you, and is this your wife?"

Shuggy (deliberately looking shifty) "Ah no, let me introduce my .............. pause...................   friend, Varaette".

Colleague (thinking "' oh aye?  What's going on here?"  "Hello, Varaette, how d'ye do, , isn't is a great exhibition?   etc etc."

Colleague goes off thinking "Shuggy going aboot with a wumman young enough to be his daughter!   Ooh, wait till I tell them at work".

Shuggy and Varaette indulge in evil giggles

But weren't you a bit worried that with the Varaette having blue hair and the colleague having red face, the whole three of you might be mistaken for some yukky royalist red, white, and blue celebrate-the-damn-queen "statement"?      
Onny

Hi Shuggy. Nil desperandum. If an ugly auld bastird like me can pull a pair of mid 20s redheads - thurs hope fur ye yet.
alphabetty

I'd say that was compliments all round Shuggy!
whityewantn

Zat aboot 1925 then, Onny?

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